Saturday, 10 November 2012

Call me Trevor

Not believing that you should waste one minute of your allocated time I often take the opportunity to grab a quick sketch no matter how unpalatable. Waiting for Alex is an occupational hazard when going out so the other day I did a quick pencil sketch of the only subject around, me.
Sometimes a little white lie or exaggeration can take you places you don't want to go. Many years ago when I was interviewed to join the police force I sat in the waiting room and chatted to another lad. Neither of us had prepared for the interview. I had assumed you just went in and answered questions about yourself and that was it. "Well to be honest it wasn't far off that." When he came out he said he had failed so I don't know what he had done wrong. I went in and everything was going well until I was asked about sport.
Did I play rugby?
"No." I replied (I hadn't played since leaving school, although I did play again after joining).
I quickly realised I might have made a mistake and added," I do play football."
This is where I made my bigger mistake. The police would teach me to probe and not leave any superficial answers.
"Oh, that's interesting, what position do you play?"
I hadn't played football since I left junior school but had to say something, "Right back."
" And what league do you play in?"
Oh no this is getting bad. I told them the only league I knew the name of.
"Great what side do you play for?"
Oh God take me now, I gave the name of the only team I knew, "Fisher and Ludlow."
"Aren't they top of the league?"
"Err yes." I didn't know but apparently they were.
They changed the subject and all seemed to be well. I got in and two weeks later I was in a gymnasium with other recruits changed into sports kit. The PTI (physical training instructor) came in and announced,
"Well I understand we have a first class footballer in our midst," and looked straight at me.
Oh God not again. Help.
Well my efforts on the football field were enough to prove my inadequacies as a first class player. I decided the only thing for it was to come clean. I went and saw the senior officer who had been part of the interviewing board and admitted what had happened. Initially I was severely admonished but in the end he burst into laughter and told me they had a good idea I was making it up and they just kept pushing me to see how big a hole I could dig for myself.
For a short period I was called "Trevor" (after Trevor Francis the sublime footballer of that time). It didn't last and the incident was soon forgotten. A good lesson had been learn't.

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